I was prompted to blog about this controversial topic: extended breastfeeding.
Breastfeeding, in itself, is a very touchy topic. If you want to make enemies at a new play date, just casually bring this up, lean back and watch WWIII unfold before your eyes. You see, there’s really no better way to get on people’s nerves than to make them feel they’re not getting their shenanigans right, and that includes how we feed our precious LOs.
To set things straight, I am not a breastzilla. I have utmost respect for all mummies and their choices. I always believe, if we’ve never had someone’s breasts and nipples, we don’t judge their baby feeding choices. But the topic of extended breastfeeding is another monster topic altogether.
I’m not sure what it is about motherhood that turns some women into holier-than-thou social pariahs. It is simply inappropriate, no matter what justification you may reserve, to impose your views on others. Be it with regards to bottle feeding, breastfeeding or extended breastfeeding.
So here I am, with my 21-month-old baby Lauren, and we’re, or rather she, is still happily riding on this breastfeeding train. I am at the door, patiently waiting to arrive at “No More Breastfeeding Station”. How long more? I don’t know, how about you ask Lauren?
Well, for starters, we’re only left with the, “Mum-Mum After Playgroup”, “Mum-Mum Before Bedtime” and “Mum-Mum Non-Stop Throughout The Night, If Mum-Mum Falls Out Of My Mouth I Scream” and “Mum-Mum If Not I Don’t Get Out Of Bed In The Morning”. Which, to be honest, is fine with me. Actually I really don’t like the night-time feeds and some nights I pray really hard that she’d just give this one up. I guess God is playing favourites on this one, since she seems to be getting her wishes granted instead of mine. Sigh.
And I’ve been trying to wean her off the session when she gets back from full day childcare. It’s not easy because she’s not seen me for like 8 hours and she’s really cranky until she gets it. Some days we manage without it, other days I throw in the Mum-Mum without a fight.
So I get embarrassed now whenever people ask if I’m still breastfeeding her, when she’s running around and smiling, flashing her white pearlies at people. It makes me feel self-conscious and creepy. Like why am I not weaning her and letting her be more independent? Frankly speaking, I do want her to be independent. Oh yea, I want her to be independent! But I don’t exactly see the logic and practicality of that independence manifesting when she’s just 21 months old. Not even 36 months old. She still needs me to put on her shoes and clean up her poop. So I’m really not getting the memo here, why do we insist on weaning babies before they’re ready?
I know there are cases of babies self-weaning early but my hubby Ray be my witness, there’s no separating Lauren from her Mum-Mum. It’s home sweet home to her. She’d cuddle up on my lap or on my side, and many times giggle halfway through, then choke, and chuckle with milk flowing out of her mouth. I really don’t see her getting independent any time soon. And honestly, she seems to think the Mum-Mums belong to her and only her. It’s strange. But that’s another story for another day.
Look sweetie, Mum-Mums belong to mummy ok, not you! Tsk.
So yea, I know this is a tough one. All children are different, so as much as I want to wean her off her Mum-Mums, it’s just not as easy as it seems. Lauren clearly is not developmentally ready to give it up. If some children still need their comfort items at age 4 or even 5, why do we judge extended breastfeeding? If some of us bottle feed our children up to age 5, what’s the issue with extended breastfeeding? I have no intention to breastfeed until age 5, God forbid, but why do we judge?
And yes, some cultures in the world breastfeed until 5 years old!
I am in fact very happy to have stuck with my decision to breastfeed her until today. Perhaps it’s just her sweet and gentle character. But maybe. You know. Perhaps it’s the 10 mins of breastfeeding sessions (People think breastfeeding toddlers take 45 minutes, nope! They’re efficient suckers!) she gets daily that keeps her grounded, feeling loved and secure. There’s nothing perverted about her development and we’ve an amazing bond. I wouldn’t change a thing.
I believe we can do without all the judging and criticizing, and start loving and respecting each other for being mums. Cos being a mum is such a beautiful gift from God and we shouldn’t taint it the way we do sometimes. Agree? Alright, that’s a long rant. Peace!
Bonus peek of my Mum-Mum obsessed darling Lauren.
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